I'm thinking that, now that I've hit my 30s (ok, I've been in my 30s for a decent while), it's natural for me to go through a third-life crisis at least once a week. Where should I be? What should I be doing? What more is there to life? What's it all about, anyway?

I have to say that I have never been especially ambitious in life. I've never needed to be the top of the heap, never yearned for fame. Money, well... who doesn't want that? This lack of ambition, however, is a double-edged sword, as I've never had anything pushing me in a certain direction.

What do I know? Well, I've never been afraid to explore and move around, although, the older I get, the more I think I really ought to settle down and I did, Twice. I can't help but think, though, that all this moving around has done me good. It's made me very open-minded about new situations. The only problem is that I yearn for something different all the time.

I also know that I've always liked solving problems, organizing events, writing articles, and meeting people. Cooking, traveling are my passion and the favourite is being with my hubby, doing things together that we both like. Being together, just the two of us, quality time.

Anyway, so what am I saying? Well, I think it'd be cool if we could just meet people and trade jobs for a day. Like, constant secondment, a little of this and that here and there. I suppose that would mean that long-term projects would need to be put on hold, and I'd never want to leave anyone hanging. I just like change now and then.

Some countries give you the opportunity to take a career break to try something else. Sometimes, these breaks last a couple of years. I'd take that. My only problem is that I'd want a break every few years. I'm sure there would be a limit.

At this point in my life, I think I'd like to try:

* being a mother again! I have been praying hard for it and every month,when I need to reach for a sanitary pad, the pang in my heart hurts.
* having a satisfactory job, I mean job and not career, something that will bring in at least some money for me!
* bringing a project from sheep to sweater
* running a B&B
* writing my own biography - friends been encouraging me to do that for years but 1) I don't know where to start 2) I'm lazy but seriously, where and how to start?Can someone give me advice?
* a travel writer, but for seaside retreats, weekend getaway for family or romantic getaway for couples
* an event planner with a team of people


I suppose life takes its own turns, and I should just wait and see what happens. The more proactive thing would be for me to find a goal and work towards it, but that, grasshopper, is the problem. My only goals in life are peace, mental stimulation, and a good laugh daily. Believe it or not, it's the last requirement I have the hardest time with. It's really easy to slip into melancholy.

The rub - wanting what I have right now. In Soak Up the Sun, Sheryl Crow said,

It's not getting what you want
It's wanting what you've got.

Which reminds me of something else - I wish I knew how to look as good on a surfboard as she does!

So, struggle on I will, but not without wistful gazes into the past and into the future.